The article caught my eye. “7 things you will regret in your 20’s.” I’m WAY past 20-something, but I loved my 20’s. So, I clicked on the title to catch a peek of what I may or may not regret about the decade.
Of the 7, I regret only one, even though I didn’t do all the things recommended. For example, #4 is “not starting a retirement fund.” I didn’t save a dime. I don’t regret it. I was in undergrad or grad school most of my 20’s and that was the investment I made to my retirement. Now I’ll have 20+ years in a state retirement pension plan. Nope, no regrets there.
Numbers 5 and 7 are so similar they really should be just one. “Wasting time on people who don’t deserve your time” and “staying in bad relationships.” Absolutely not. Even the worst people I knew in my 20’s added value to my life.
When I was 28 I dated my first “bad guy.” Hahaha. That makes me laugh. My idea of “bad” and someone else’s, I dare say Anyone else’s, are not the same. My bad guy smoked, drank beer and got fired by his own father. That’s about as bad as he was. He was a prissy guy with a well known name in Little Rock, Arkansas (you know, one of those that ends with “the third”). He thought he was super hot and cool (an oxymoron?). Think Ryan Gosling. He will play the part in the movie of my life, even though RG is way better looking than the third. I hear he’s fat now with a fat ex-wife and a fat kid. My husband can’t believe that was my bad guy. He’s not the least bit jealous. Oh well.
“Not getting fit” is number one. I was fit; I didn’t need to get fit. My 20’s body was A-OK. No regrets there either.
“Not studying or moving abroad” is numero seis. Well, I did want to study abroad. My undergraduate college started a Study Abroad program in Florence, Italy the fall after I graduated. I asked my dad if I could go. He said, “why don’t you get a job?”
I got a job as a recruiter for the college. I didn’t travel abroad, but I did travel from coast to coast. I had a really fun 6 years doing that and met so many people and made so many friends. And, it’s what started my career in higher ed. Nope, no regrets. Wouldn’t change a thing about it.
Number 3 is “rushing to be a grown-up.” HA! I certainly did not do that. I got married 3 weeks short of 35. I never had a child of my own. I was a super poor grad student for 5 years. I ate badly; drove an old, beat-up car; didn’t buy new clothes for years. No, no regrets.
OK, so WHAT do I regret? Number two…..not taking risks. I was a goody-two-shoes. I mean, I was a super goody-two-shoes. A supercalifragilisticexpialidocious goody-two-shoes. If you Google “goody two shoes” there is a pic of me in my 20’s. Of course it was in the 80’s so I’d have had big hair.
In the summer of 1988 I was dating several guys. One, an attorney, was a really slobbery kisser. I told a friend that I could not, would not go out with him again after “tonight” because I simply could not, would not, kiss him again. During dinner that evening on the last date I reached into my oversized hot pink handbag and found a never-been-opened, still-in-the-package Handiwipe. Very funny, friend, very funny.
Later that night I did tell the slobbery attorney I couldn’t date him again. I didn’t say why. The next day the rumor around the apartment complex was that HE called it off with ME because I was “too much of a virgin.” Is that the opposite of “a little bit pregnant?” I took the high road and remained silent on the subject.
Anyway, if I had the 20’s to live over I’d drink, smoke, toke, dance, love, laugh, kiss, hug, more, more, more! I’d party til the cows came home. Because when one turns 30 the vices aren’t cute anymore. You kind of have to be a respectable adult and productive citizen. So, my advice is to let your big hair down. Have fun and don’t be such a fuddy duddy. But still, no drinking and driving. And, no texting and driving. And, sexting isn’t a good idea either. And, use good sense; do what you can to not be the victim of a sexual assault. And don’t…. 😉
3 thoughts on “Regretfully, #3”
I *did* start a retirement fund in my 20s. Saved 4, 5, 6 percent of my income faithfully. Then my wife got 60% of it in our divorce. Remarkably, it took me only about 7 years to rebuild that, because 4, 5, 6 percent of what one can make in his late 40s is a whole heck of a lot more than the same portion of what one makes in his 20s.
Even though I’m a “the third,” it’s not because I’m a well-known name. And I’ve probably always underestimated my own hotness and/or coolness. But the women I’ve dated have thought that was part of my charm.
I wouldn’t go backward in my life for anything. Especially not to my 30s; those were perfectly dreadful. I enjoyed most of my 20s for the most part, however. I had a little money for the first time in my life, I figured out who I was, and I also got to be a disk jockey on the radio which was enormous fun. It’s fun to reflect on those days.
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Indeed I do love to reflect on those days and all of my past. I am an INFJ on Myers Briggs personality inventory. Reflection and feelings and emotions, etc. are a part of who I am. I wouldn’t want to return to the past either, but I can’t say that I love getting older. I’m kind of vain! 😉 On other topic, how do you know what email is spam? Do you just go by gut feeling? I hate to ignore a real comment, but I don’t want to fall prey to spam or BS. Your thoughts?
Heh, I’m INFP.
On spam: check the website URL they give in their post. If it’s not some other blog, or a personal Web site, or something like that, it’s probably spam. Also, comments with nonspecific praise for your post are almost always spam.
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